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Ireland's Presidential Campaign - Stream of Consciousness

DeValera kisses Archbishop McQuaid's ring, as he asks him to draft Ireland's 1937 Constitution, promising a different kind of ring-kissing when the suited yokels are gone home.

Why? Why? Why? President has no powers, is just Ireland's monarch figurehead. Why? Cutting ribbons, living beside the zoo, taking lots of free trips, getting paid €250,000. Five grand a week. Who wouldn't want to be president? Who would:

Dana Rosemary Scallon, Independent, Catholic songstress from a distant, primitive time. Did she know her niece was being sexually abused? Sure, didn't everyone in Ireland turned a blind eye to paedophilia? Back in the day. Hey.

Sean Gallagher, Independent, no street posters, TV Dragon. I don't know much about this business, so I'm not going to invest. Lifelong Fianna Fail member? Equivalent to being a paedo-Nazi in 2011 Ireland.

Michael D Higgins, Labour (IMF-loving Government) short so needs to stand on box for TV debate. Talks a lot of Irish and a lot of crap. Member of Champagne Socialist Party.

David Norris, Independent career politician, famously gay, famously sick but well paid, famously tried to get a child abuser off the hook, famously 'into' James Joyce with all his stream of consciousness mullarky.

Mary Davis, Independent career board member, queen of quangos, queen of Photoshop, likes red dresses. Establishment lady.

Martin McGuinness, Sinn Fein, bad man from the IRA according to West Brit media, led by Sir Tony O'Reilly. Now talks peace while RTE wants to talk war. RTE didn't want to talk to the IRA when it mattered, when they preferred to censor themselves.

Gay Mitchell, Fine Gael (IMF-loving Government) big time Catholic, threatens suicide when asked to smile. Charming.

Is a pattern emerging? Is Ireland truly a Nazi Catholic regime, the Establishment a humourless, paedo-loving, grim-faced bunch of bruised knee fascists? And how does this affect the twin Constitutional amendments also to be held on 27 October 2011? Cutting the pay of judges. Why not? Allowing the elected members of parliament (Houses of Commons and Lords) to become judge and jury themselves? Why not? Why not allow a humourless, paedo-loving, grim-faced bunch of bruised knee fascists summarily execute those who defy their cosseted sense of reality?

Welcome to I-ur-land, home of the slack-jawed yokel and the please-fuck-me-up-gene, AKA inbred peasants who like to take it on their knees, with delusions of grandeur and a pathetic, twisted past, present and future. Scrap the presidency. Scrap the Constitution. Start again. Start again.



Published by Gary J Byrnes at Smashwords.
Copyright 2011 © Gary J Byrnes.
The right of Gary J Byrnes to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright & Related Rights Act, 2000. All rights reserved.
In this work of fiction, the characters, places and events are either the product of the author's imagination or they are used entirely fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Novels by Gary J Byrnes, in print and ebook formats, available from Smashwords and all good online retailers.

It was a warm, dull Easter Monday in March and the clocks were all set to Berlin time. The Kommandant of the Central Bank of Ireland stood before the long window on the top floor of the Brutalist pile and gazed east, down the grey River Liffey and into Dublin Bay, where water and sky met in a fuzz. He searched the clouds anxiously, checked his watch.
‘Where are they?’
The full wall digital display churned out numbers and symbols. The Euro was dying and the shocking red pixels could lie no more, the spinmeisters had tried every trick, every damned crazy scheme. Debt piled upon debt piled upon debt. The house of cards had collapsed. Simple physics, really. But the new currency would soon be unveiled, turning lead into gold.
Tiny dots formed at 5,000 metres and the Kommandant allowed himself a smile. His assistant entered the office with a silver tray and two double espressos.
The Kommandant inhaled the coffee smell and said ‘They’re here.’
Lots of lovely little dots.
Six RAF A400M tactical transport aircraft, four F-35 stealth fighters and a handful of Blackhawk helicopters flew unhindered over the port. King William flew the lead transport, smiling as he did his duty for himself and his riot-torn country. There was no resistance to the attack formation, as the Irish Aer Corps relied on UK radar and satellite data and had been supplied with dummy images since midnight. Two fighters peeled away from the attack force and dropped little sparkles towards the port and the oil tanker sitting low in the water. Then the jets accelerated and screamed over the Central Bank at 900 kph, on their mission to destroy all assets at the Aer Corps base in Baldonnell.
A huge red and black explosion.
The remaining fighters watched over the fat-bellied transports, each loaded with one hundred storm-accountants from the 1st Combat Wing of the European Central Bank. Armed with sub machine guns, laptops, calculators, asset seizure orders and impenetrable contract documents, their role was to aggressively take control of all the Irish assets that had been put up as collateral for European bailout funds. The funds were a contrived, fractional fantasy and the bailout a disaster. But these truths were irrelevant. This was about the rule of financial law and the protection of the bondholders, the hedge funds and the German and French banks that really mattered.
The sound of the tanker’s death reached the office as a low rumble, a column of oily smoke filled the morning sky. It was ironic that the last time this part of the city had been bombed from the air was during a Luftwaffe attack in 1941. Then there was 1974.
‘Can we trust the British, Herr Kommandant?’ asked the assistant.
‘Of course, Günther. There is your proof,’ he gestured at the chaos unfolding across the city. ‘They can only continue to fight their endless wars by hiring out their remaining assets and selling their military hardware to the highest bidder. Some would argue that it has always been so.’
‘And the Irish?’
‘The armed forces’ paychecks come from Frankfurt. They’re fine. We will need them to maintain order. The police will get double overtime to maintain order once I assume command of the State and declare Emergency Law. The politicians? Well, I don’t know if anyone can truly understand them. They have been paid off and offered powerless but well-salaried positions in Brussels and Frankfurt, as has always been the case. Those that decline will be fed to the population.’
Günther gaped. The smoke from the tanker obscured a quarter of the sky. Nearer, the transports lazily circled the Irish Financial Services Centre like sharks while the storm-accountants drifted slowly to ground under pinstriped parachutes. The helicopters hovered, then veered south. The transports followed, crossed the river towards Government Buildings.
Looking down at the street made little point from the top of the Central Bank, they were just working ants below, so the Kommandant looked to the screens to see the breathless breaking news. There was some panic on display, but calm resignation too. The fluoridated water supply had numbed the peasantry into submission, exactly as imagined by Nazi scientists in the 1940s. Since the Bubble Times, each of Ireland’s economic shocks had been greater than the last. Somehow, the idea of the European Central Bank repossessing a country using military force was now acceptable. The Greeks had fought harder but they fell too. For the countries which had insisted on the centralisation of European power after The First Bond War, Greater Europe was taking shape. The European Ministry for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda controlled the media. Between gameshows, the populace was bombarded with the mantra that managing debt was the most important shared task and that elected representatives had obstructed this.
Debt would set them free.
So Greater Europe’s western flank was now secured, along with Ireland’s fish and her cattle and her gas and her debt slaves.
They stood and watched as each objective was taken and then took a long conference call with Berlin, Frankfurt and Paris, which was mainly concerned with short-term bond yields.
The numbers quietly marched across the screens.
Some gunfire. Nearby. The Kommandant raised an eyebrow, but he always did this.
‘And Shannon Airport?’
The assistant checked his tablet computer. ‘The American garrison has taken it, not a shot fired.’
‘Good. Good. I want preliminary audit reports from the banks and the asset management agency on my desk in the morning. Tonight we will dine with the mission leader, an actuary from Dortmund.’ The Kommandant was framed by the window then, a horrible masterpiece as the evening sun toasted the Dublin Mountains, the city at the heart of a smoky vortex. ‘It’s time to broadcast my assumption of command. To the media studio. And then time for a brandy, perhaps?’
A very loud explosion then and the office shook. A long crack in the window. Dust and smoke and screams.
‘Gott in Himmel! What was that?’
The assistant tried to contact security on his headset, failed, brought the ground level cameras onto the screens. At the rear of the building, the ramp into the basement, a scorched and smoking cave now.
‘There!’ cried Günther, pointing to a screen which showed fuzzy armed men enter the cave, firing savagely into the void.
The Kommandant lurched towards his desk and scrambled at the bottom drawer. It slid out as he grabbed the Napoleon bottle and struggled with the cap. There was shooting within the building and another explosion. The tv blahed about a large British aircraft that had come down on Croke Park and the assassination of two Frankfurt bankers on Mount Street, but these events didn’t register as they cowered and gulped the brandy and listened to the shooting.
And when the fuzzy men with guns came to take them hostage, before they would level the building with an ANFO-nitromethane truckbomb, all the Kommandant could ask was ‘Who?’
‘The IRA. We’re just looking after our investments. Can’t be having everything wiped out by your New Deutschmark. Surely you can appreciate that.’
‘But you were gone away!’
‘Ha. Up! On your feet the pair of ye.’
‘But what do you want?’
‘We’ll make a deal. Maybe.’
They filled a bag with computers, phones and documents from the Kommandant’s desk, posed by the picture window, AKs pointed at their hostages’ heads, and streamed the whole show onto the web with a twenty minute delay.
Twenty-two minutes later, the explosion was heard as far away as Glendalough. The ducks there just shrugged.

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.

The Bible, Proverbs 22:7 (New International Version)



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Ireland Must Tell The Vatican Where To Go

If Enda Kenny and the Irish Government are serious about punishing the Vatican for protecting religious paedophiles, they can do three things. Firstly, they can dismiss the Papal Nuncio from his position as Dean of the Diplomatic Corps. The Dean is meant to be the most senior or longest-serving diplomat in Ireland but we, like some other countries, automatically make the Vatican's representative here the most senior. This is telling the world that Ireland's relations with the Vatican are more important than our relations with any other country.

Secondly, we must strive to make Ireland a truly secular democracy, confirming a complete separation of Church and State. This will entail placing all public schools and hospitals into State ownership and control.

Thirdly, the religious institutions which caused the sexual exploitation of children in this jurisdiction, and those that helped to conceal these criminal activities, must be made to pay reparations, in full, to all those who were harmed. If reparations are not made quickly, the State must seize sufficient assets to cover the costs involved and make allowance for all the cases that will be brought to light in the future. Further, all those who harmed children and/or concealed this harm, must be punished by the criminal justice system and to the fullest extent allowed by law. And if the current laws aren't tough enough, they must be toughened.

Some say that Ireland, a land of confusion, malaise and hopelessness, is currently suffering karmic retribution for the sins of the past. The Catholic Church's terrible legacy is a broken nation, whose children suffered the most heinous crimes, perpetrated by evil hypocrites who peddled the illusion of God and love. It is time that Ireland grew up, allowing religious freedom as a private pursuit but sundering permanently the influence of any religion on the Republic, its activities and its ideals.


Turn on your tap, turn off the fluoride!

This is the warning notice on all fluoridated toothpastes in the US. We put the same stuff in Irish drinking water.
Do you know you're being poisoned every time you drink water from an Irish tap? As of NOW, please leave your kitchen tap (mains supply) running 24/7 until the Irish Government REMOVES poison fluoride from the water supply and fixes the pipes BEFORE bringing in water charges. If we all do this, the water will run dry. Proper people power. If anyone asks why the tap is running, just explain. Please share this.


An Open Letter to Dr James Reilly, Minister for Health

This warning label is found on fluoridated toothpaste in the US. Note the word Poison.

Dear Dr Reilly,

Congratulations on your appointment as Minister for Health. We are confident that a medical professional can see the wood for the trees and help to deliver a fair and efficient healthcare system.

As the parents of three children, including a one-year-old, we would like to draw your attention to the issues surrounding water fluoridation. Scientific evidence is increasingly suggesting that the potential risks from adding fluoride (which is an expensive, toxic by-product of  heavy industry) to the public water supply far outweigh any perceived benefits.

Water fluoridation was introduced by a Fianna Fail minister because it was 'cheaper than hiring dentists'. There may have been a twisted logic to this in 1960s Ireland, when fluoride toothpaste would not have been easily available. However, those days are gone and the entire population now has easy access to fluoride and can manage the dosages themselves.

We wrote to the HSE recently, asking for their policy in relation to preparing infant formula with fluoridated water. Many health practitioners now recommend that infant feed is not made with such water, as it is unknown how infants are affected by fluoride. We have yet to be informed on what the policy is and are using feed that is manufactured with unfluoridated water.

We would draw your attention to research conducted by Dr Paul Connett, at this link: and his advice on conducting endless studies, which was the approach taken by previous Governments (one of which advised that those concerned about fluoridation don't have to drink the water!): "For those who would call for further studies, I say fine. Take the fluoride out of the water first and then conduct all the studies you want. This folly must end without further delay."

We hope that you, as Minister responsible for this mass-medication of the population, will take a fresh look at the issue and take the fluoride out of the water supply until it is conclusively proven to be 100% safe and effective.


Gary and Bernadette Byrnes


Question Everything About Ireland

Two apparently unrelated current events expose the key underlying problem with Ireland.

Sunday April 10 is census day, when we are obliged by law to furnish census forms with all kinds of personal information. It is worrying, then, to discover that the census is being conducted by a US company, CACI, which does all sorts of intelligence gathering for the US Government. CACI actually supplied torturers to Abu Ghraib in Iraq. So the company that was directly involved in some of the most revolting human rights abuses since World War 2 - some, myself included, would call them crimes against humanity - is collating every Irish resident's personal data. While boycotting the census carries a fine and therefore can't be encouraged, we should at least make our disgust known to the census form collectors.

Secondly, as the radioactive contamination from Japan continues to poison our food, air, water and soil, the State bodies responsible for our protection keep up the 'Don't worry' mantra. This is how the Irish State treats any potential crisis and, as has been shown, this is the worst possible approach. We should hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I want to know if the potassium iodine tablets distributed after September 11, 2001 are still safe to take. If not, what is the correct dosage of kelp tablets? How do we protect infants? What should we do if a reactor explodes?

The Irish State has, since its inception, treated the populace like mushrooms, keeping us in the dark and feeding us shit, all the while rewarding corruption and incompetence. It's time the mushrooms started to question everything about how this rotten country is run and to whose advantage.


What Are TV Charity Events Really About?

Red Nose Day today. A whole night of BBC dedicated to making us feel miserable, in between chunks of comedy. All to raise millions for needy people, a fine and noble cause for sure. But I'm just not right with what I saw tonight. For a few reasons:
  1. The endless video of sick, malnourished and neglected children, with appropriate music and exquisite editing, is all about making the viewer feel guilty. Guilt is not a positive emotion and should not be encouraged. Even when in the name of charity.
  2. It's almost as if it's our fault that these poor kids are so messed up, so we need to donate money and make amends. Wrong. It's our governments, world trade organisations and massive corporations that have ruined entire continents. Our donations will make a difference to people's lives, but are only a drop in the ocean of tears.
  3. So many 'celebrities' enjoy primetime exposure from Red Nose Day and all the other eventethons. They might be singing their new song or looking for a way back on to TV. Clearly they enjoy direct financial benefit as a result of the shows, deserving it for having to live in a hotel near an African slum for a week. And I bet half of them are coked out of their heads.
  4. As long as the global financial system is controlled by a few countries, to the detriment of all the rest, huge and shocking poverty will continue to thrive. A night of mixed message TV is not going to help. Maybe it even makes things worse.


European Union Colonialists are Morally Bankrupt

It can't be overstated how important and momentous are the popular uprisings against the dictatorships and monarchies of North Africa and the Middle East. While we all feel an urge to support the revolutions, history must teach us that meddling is wrong. After all, many of the leading European Union powers, such as the United Kingdom, France, Italy and the Netherlands caused most of the problems in the modern world, with their colonialist policies that pillaged continents and imposed friendly dictators. The United States has, in the last half-century, taken this bankrupt policy to new heights, with massive military and diplomatic support for the dictators of Egypt, Saudi Arabia and many more oil-rich or Israel-friendly puppets.

So, while America is rightly staying out of the revolutions, Europe seeks to meddle, with David Cameron fantasising about using British forces in Libya while Gadaffi uses French jets to bomb his own people. It's pathetic and it exposes EU Foreign Policy (led by an unelected British woman) as a shambolic fantasy that can never happen, as all the world sees it as still more colonialist meddling for the EU's gain. I really don't know if Ireland, a disgraced and impoverished vassal of EU/US banking scams, can ever really influence international affairs at an EU level, but it would be a good start to call for EU foreign policy to be defined primarily by those nation states that have never colonised.


Last Chance for Ireland

Given the almost impossible task facing the next Government, it's amazing that so many are desperate to grab the poisoned chalice. Maybe it's true that politicians are nothing more than power-hungry egomaniacs, eager to simply milk what they can from the system for themselves and their crony friends. I'm convinced that the only way for Ireland to have a future free of nepotism, cronyism and State-sponsored incompetence is to dump the representative politicians and let the people regularly participate in decision making. This is successfully practised in many countries, including Switzerland and the US. From my research, People Before Profit (in the United Left Alliance) is the only party with a commitment to participative democracy and I will be voting for them on February 25.

One of the most incredible things about the election campaign is that all the mainstream political parties are ok with the new Universal Social Charge. The USC is an unfair tax, in that a worker's PAYE is calculated as if it did not exist, ie, a taxpayer is paying tax on a tax! Further, when means is being assessed for social welfare, the USC (and PAYE) are ignored! In effect, the State is pretending that USC does not exist. Surely this is madness? It is worth remembering that a revolt against unfair taxes brought America its independence. The new Government of Ireland has a limited time to show it is serious about putting people before banks and cronies and to fix the shocking inequalities which have been foisted on society by Fianna Fail and the Greens. If we don't see genuine change, the people of Ireland must take example from the peoples of Egypt and the Middle East and tear down the rotten system.